


End It All With A Smile

by Nikaslist



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Dreams, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Sort Of, donghyuck can bring stuff from his dreams, mark is barely there, not as angsty as it seems, trc au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-24 06:29:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18565819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikaslist/pseuds/Nikaslist
Summary: Donghyuck can bring anything from his dreams back with him. Maybe he can bring back a Huang Renjun that will love him back too.





	End It All With A Smile

**Author's Note:**

> Hey I'm back with another renhyuck!! (a shorter one this time)  
> It's lightly based on one of my fav book series trc and a prompt by my friend on tt~
> 
> This one is actually quite different from my other works and I'm kind of scared of publishing it. This style is actually what i prefer writing but don't worry the lighter stuff is coming next!!
> 
> i would like to thank my friends who encouraged me to actually finish it even tho i thought i shouldn't hehe~  
> Thank you Val for listening to me and telling me u would read it anyway haha hope u enjoy!!  
> Andddd thank u Raina my number #1 supporter and hype man hahaha :DD this one would never see daylight if u didn't hype me up :'33 i love u and i hope u will enjoy uwu
> 
> and to everyone else!! hope u enjoy too<33 (btw i dont have a beta so~)

It starts when Donghyuck is thirteen. Or more like around this time, he can’t be too sure. He can clearly remember the day, of course, with snow outside his window and a small wooden bird in his hands, but not the year it happens. Maybe it was before or maybe after.

The small wooden bird is deformed and discolored in some places. It makes Donghyuck feel uncomfortable and scared.  
It takes a few more nights and a few more birds for him to finally pull out a perfect black and blue one.  
He doesn't really know what it means, or where did it come from, but the last one ends up staying in Renjun's house while all the failed attempts are left under his desk forever.

He likes to believe he was thirteen back then.  
What is a fact, however, is that Donghyuck has always had vivid dreams. Too vivid, according to Renjun.  
They swirl and twist in his mind making separating them from reality really hard. Almost impossible.

But he somehow manages.  
Sometimes it takes common knowledge, like the fact that elephants don't have two heads and frogs can't talk, but sometimes his own logical thinking isn’t enough.

In times like those, he turns to his best friend Renjun. He asks him about politics, the older watching the news every morning so that they could verify, or just small everyday things like the other mum’s birthday date or her flower collection.

Sometimes Donghyuck doesn’t know if his influence with Renjun is real or maybe from one of his dreams too.

He slides glances at the older, catches the afternoon light making his eyes golden instead of brown.  
Renjun doesn’t look real at all. But he must be because Donghyuck has never met anyone like him in his wildest dreams.

His best friend is the reason he would pick reality over the dream world every time.

**»»»**

When Donghyuck is fourteen he brings back Renjun a set of his favorite paints.  
The older has been gushing about them for months, eyes going wide and sparkly every time they pass by the shelves that carry them at their local art shop.

It's nice and refreshing to see Renjun so excited over something so simple.  
But the thing is, that's all it is. Donghyuck and Renjun stare at them for a while every time, Donghyuck's face in a frown, and then they go deeper into the store to search for cheaper applies that they are able to buy with their monthly allowance.

It's not much and with their forces combined they buy the cheapest paint and a new brush since the old one got broken during a pillow fight.

Renjun laughs when they leave the shop but Donghyuck still catches his eyes looking at the paints one last before the bell at the door rings finalizing their leave.

He goes back there that day, just before they close and takes a few photos of the paints while the shop assistant stares at him and then shakes his head. Donghyuck doesn't mind.

He makes sure to stare at the pictures under the blanket, making sure his mother thinks he is already asleep, till his eyes get watery and eventually close. He drifts off trying to hold on to the palette of colors and an image of starry-eyed Renjun.

And Donghyuck somehow manages to pull an almost perfect copy of the colorful tubes back with him. When he wakes up there are tightly grasped in his sweaty fingers.  
It's almost Renjun's birthday.

Even after five years, when Donghyuck is nineteen, the painting of a single sunflower on a sunset still hangs above his bed.

It was the first thing that Renjun made with the paints Donghyuck gave him back then.

The younger knows the design and the logo of the tubes like the back of his hand now.

**»»»**

At the age of fifteen, he has a massive collection of things from his dreams already. His mother gives him a look every time he comes out of his bedroom, hair sticking out in all directions, caring yet another useless thing in his hand.

He doesn't know where does most of the designs he gets come from.

He suspects some of the glass flowers or colorful vases come from his conversations with Renjun. Or maybe dreams about the other, he can't be too sure.

The other stuff is what he worries about. He wakes up surrounded by school papers sometimes and he signs while gathering and throwing it away every time.

On mother’s day, he carries out a bag full of her favorite chocolates. It took him almost a week to pull out all of the flavors. It was a rough process, Donghyuck almost getting poisoned after trying the first batch, and some intense chocolate commeritals marathons before sleep but the smile on his mother’s face is worth it.

He carries out a few extra ones through the back door and slips them under Renjun’s front door.  
Then he watches his best friend's mother smiling at her son when he gives them to her.

And Donghyuck swears, just when he is about to leave his window to let them celebrate in private, she turns to him and smiles.  
He dreams of flowers that night and sleeps them under Renjun’s door too.

**»»»**

The day he turns sixteen is kind of different.

He meets a boy.  
It happens in a dream, he is sure for once, because there is a pink cat in the boy's arms.

They exchange greeting when they pass each other but even after a few meters Donghyuck can still feel a pair of eyes on his back. He turns to the other with a questioning look in his eyes.

There is something in the others gaze that tells Donghyuck he _knows_.  
It’s ridiculous, Donghyuck has never seen that spark of recognition in anyone's eyes before. Not in his three years of all of this.

They end up sitting at the sidewalk together talking for hours. Or at least it feels like hours. Times works differently in dreams.

Donghyuck learns a lot about the other boy. His name is Mark and he loves cats. Especially pink ones. Donghyuck laughs and tells him all about the real world and real cats.

There is a sad smile on Mark’s face and a strange sense of longing visible in his eyes. It makes no sense, but then again, what _makes_ sense in the dream world.

Donghyuck doesn’t know why but somehow it makes total sense when he wakes up the next day with Mark by his side.  
At first, they just smile at each other, Mark’s eyes big with excitment, and then they laugh.

Donghyuck decides bringing the older back was a good idea after he witnesses him petting cats as soon as they go outside. It’s sunny and hot and their laughter echoes through the neighborhood.

Mark manages to become his second best friend after that.

**»»»**

At the age of seventeen, he meets the dream version of his best friend.

They meet by accident on one of the busy streets of dream Seoul. Donghyuck is wandering without a real destination, head in the clouds, when he bumps into his best friend.  
Well, not really.

To his surprise Renjun recognizes him. It feels both the same and entirely different from his everyday life and he has to check the sky’s color to make sure that he is dreaming.  
That day it’s purple.

They end up coming back to an old apartment Donghyuck lives in his dreams. It’s small and almost empty but he prefers to use it over his real house if he can get there while he dreams.

As it turns out, the most distinguishable thing about this version of the face he knows so well is that no matter what, the corners of Renjun’s mouth always stay down. There is no real spark in his eyes too. The dream Renjun never smiles.

It’s quite a difference and when Donghyuck isn’t sure if he is in a dream or not anymore he just cracks a really bad joke, the kind that his best friend would laugh at.

When he doesn’t Donghyuck breathes deeper, almost with relief.

He doesn’t mind being caught looking by this Renjun. The interference with which the older struggles every single time makes Donghyuck bolder.

The only emotion dream Renjun shows is sadness.  
It’s in his eyes, the way he shifts his head down slightly and his slumped down shoulders.

Donghyuck reminds himself this is not Renjun he grew up with.  
Over and over again.

The other is sad mostly when they talk about the real version of him. Which is odd enough in itself.  
He seems sad when Donghyuck talks about all his feeling for real Renjun. Almost like it pains him, for some reason.

Donghyuck brings the idea from thin air. It’s out of the blue and to be honest he isn’t sure where it came from either. Maybe it’s been too many years, pinning for his best friends or maybe he was simple in a bad mood.

Renjun is sitting on the floor, his attention on the puzzles they were trying to solve.  
"You can bring me back," he says and Donghyuck rises his hand to touch this dream Renjun on the shoulder but stops himself.  
"But I won't love you back then. You can't bring back emotions."

Donghyuck frowns at the older.  
"How come I'm always so scared when I come back then.”  
Renjun looks at him with sad eyes.  
"It's not from dreams. It's from your real life."

Donghyuck feels the walls collapsing, trapping him in this nightmare forever. He screams as loud as he can but he isn't quite awake yet so nothing comes out of his mouth.

When he opens his eyes, however, he is calm.

The emotions come after a few minutes with vivid memories from the dream.  
Tears are blurring his vision and Donghyuck can feel his palms form fists. He is angry, so angry at his stupidity.

He would never trade his best friend for a dream version. No matter what.

There is this voice whispering one thing over and over again till he finally falls asleep that day.  
_How come I can so clearly distinguish dream from reality this time?_

**»»»**

It’s May and Donghyuck is eighteen.  
It’s been so many years of constantly mistaking dreams and reality and he starts to think he is losing the hang of it with each passing day.

It takes Donghyuck about five years to finally break.  
He is sitting with dream Renjun on his bed back in his parent’s house.  
They don’t really talk that day, tension hanging in the air.

Donghyuck feels lonely and insecure and he can’t help but ramble about his feelings for the real Renjun yet again.  
“And it kills me slowly, you know,” he lowers his head and looks at the purple covers. There is always something odd in the way the room looks while he is dreaming. He hasn’t found today’s difference yet. “I can see you love me but him-”

He never gets to finish the sentence.  
“Donghyuck,” Renjun stops him by putting his hands on his shoulders and shaking lightly.  
Donghyuck jumps lightly at the contact. There is _something wrong_ with it.  
He looks up at his best friend. There are sadness and shock in Renjun’s eyes and he can’t look away.  
“What makes you think the dream version loves you back and the real one doesn’t?” he asks quietly and Donghyuck wants nothing more than to wake up.

But he can’t. He looks around panicked and picks up all the small details. His wooden birds under the desk and a koala plushie Renjun got him for his 14th birthday. His breath hitches.

“This is…” he starts but can’t finish. Because this isn’t his dream. This Renjun isn’t the one from his dreams and he doesn’t know why he didn’t realize sooner.

“Calm down,” Renjun’s hands find their way to his back and the older pulls him in for a hug.

“I do love you,” Renjun whispers, voice shaky, next to his ear and Donghyuck squeezes him tighter.

They stay like this for a long time and Donghyuck can feel himself drift off a few times. He forces his eyes open every time, refusing to fall asleep now.

There is nothing waiting for him in the dream world.  
He has Renjun in his arms and when their lips meet he feels more awake than ever.  
It feels like swimming instead of drowning for once.

There is nothing in his hands when he wakes up the next day. There is also a blank spot in the space of memories of his dreams and Donghyuck shivers under his blankets.

**»»»**

The last time he dreams about Renjun is one day after his nineteenth birthday.  
There is no logic to why the other decides to appear right then. Well, Donghyuck supposes it’s his fault, dream Renjun exists only in his imagination, after all.

They spent the evening lazing around. Donghyuck doesn’t even try to make small talk, there is no use.  
The older is avoiding his gaze the whole time, instead of looking outside at the green sunset.  
The shades are beautiful, the light ones like the shirt real Renjun wore that day and the dark ones like the dream Renjun is wearing right now.

“That’s it I think,” Renjun states, eyes full of sparks, glancing up at the ceiling.  
“I won’t see you again,” Donghyuck guesses from the way the other if avoiding his gaze. 

There is a light feeling in his chest for once instead of the heavy one.  
He isn’t scared anymore. Not in his dreams and not in his real world.

“Yeah,” the dream figure turns to him at the very last second.  
Their gazes finally meet for the last time. The greens, the bronzes all swirl around Donghyuck, pulling him out of his dream.

“But let me end this all with a smile.”  
And he does.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank u for reading!!  
> leave kudos and comments i love reading the stuff u leave me uwu also feel free to come and talk to me on tt (drop some prompts too i love getting inspiration~) @ yangjeonguwu


End file.
